If someone gives you the message that they’ll love you only if you’re less capable, kind, intelligent, or courageous than you really are (or can be), what they love is a diminished version of you.
Maybe they don’t love you at all, or maybe their capacity to love is damaged by personal problems, such as a profound insecurity.
When people love each other, they feed each other’s strength. A person who loves you doesn’t try to make you weak and miserable.
Bright Across the Lifespan 